Chanel or Valentino?

Yesterday I had another request from my man for some naked pictures. And these are not just naked photos. They are rather crude, but that's what he likes. He has even bought me a tripod and video camera. I've gotten quite adept at taking a string of self-portraits and using the editing feature on my Mac (which he also bought me) to finish the pictures in the most flattering way before sending them off.

I also spent the day at Neimans on Monday, sending him camera pictures of the Chanel tote I want and asking him whether he prefers that or the Valentino tote that I'd previously shown him. He liked the Valentino more (so did I). I fully expect a package from Neimans within the next couple of weeks.

I'm very excited for tomorrow night. He's also able to meet for an entire night, per my suggestion of getting a hotel room. Normally, we would just try to find a night when his girlfriend is out of town to meet at his house. Except that he's paranoid the entire time that she will unexpectedly come home or the doorman will tell her that another woman (who he would recognize as me, since I lived with him for a year) was over. I have no idea what he's telling her, other than she must be out of town. Plus, I like hotel sex. It's sexy and fun. He pays me in cash for the room (most expensive room in Chicago, I might add...this is not some sort of Motel 6 operation) and I put the room on my charge card. We're having champagne, and I'm hoping to get a massage in the morning as well.

I will pack my suitcase with the usual things that he likes- leather bondage outfits, dominatrix items, thigh high patent leather boots, various toys... it will be a long and exhausting night, but well worth it. (And, as usual, I get a cruel pleasure out of knowing that it's me who satisfies him, and not his boring girlfriend). Ironically, if she did find out and broke up with him, I think I'd be more concerned about his whereabouts that I am now. He's never admitted it, but I am confident he has one-night daliances in addition to whatever time he spends with me. If he were single, and didn't have the nazi-girlfriend that he does (she checks his phone and computer like a hawk, although it doesn't change the outcome that he still cheats on her), I'd be wondering what he was doing every night of the week. At least now I can take comfort in knowing that he's usually at home with a shapeless girlfriend that provides zero sexual excitement.

Introduction to mistress rules

I decided to keep this blog as a way to inform all women out there how to be the best mistress they can be. This will be a how-go guide, with the goal of teaching what to do and more importantly, what not to do. It will also operate as a storyboard for my own mistresshood.

As an overview, I will provide some background. I am 31 year old professional in Chicago. I was married for a blink of an eye in my early 20s, and--not surprisingly--after cheating on my husband (he was simultaneously cheating, but I did not know this at the time, so I can't disguise my cheating as valiant retaliation), got divorced. I've always believed divorcees are the ideal women to date or keep as mistresses. Divorcees, in my experience, are extremely wary of remarrying and have a very realistic view of the pitfalls of marriage. They also generally are not obsessed with marriage and weddings, as so many women in the late 20s and early 30s tend to be. It's a 'been there, done that' feeling. I have dated a fair number of men, but have only had 4 serious adult relationships (5 years, 2 years, 2 years, 1 year, respectively). I've also only slept with 11 men. I don't judge women that have slept with more, but I mention my number to emphasize the fact that mistresses do not equate to sluts or whores.

Currently, I am the mistress of a man that I dated for 2 years (one year as a mistress previously, then one year as his legitimate girlfriend). We took about a year off after our legitimate relationship, and now we're both in separate relationships but have resumed our original and most enjoyed relationship--an affair. His girlfriend is highly suspicious, which is making things more difficult than the first time I was the mistress, but ultimately if someone wants to cheat, they will find a way. That is the sad truth that most girlfriends and wives cannot accept. No one wants to be the chump, the fool, the idiot...but sadly, all women are capable of it. A man cannot be watched 24/7, and all it takes is 30 minutes to maintain a bare minimum relationship. In fact, some men are content with an e-mistress, a woman who sends pictures and videos, and who is able to satisfy him and make him happy, just through the Internet. E-mistresses are even harder to catch, if the man and mistress are cautious about when and where communications are sent and received.

Why be a mistress? There are numerous benefits, but let's get the downsides addressed now. Obviously, mistresses are not viewed as benevolent creatures, especially by women and even more so by married women. They are viewed as promiscuous, home-wrecking threats to humanity. Also, if you're a woman looking for commitment (at least a public commitment, such as marriage), then clearly this is not the lifestyle for you. So, if you are not interested in being a wife and are ok with risking being labeled a immoral whore if discovered, then read on.

The benefits are many. First of all, why be a mistress at all if not for the perks? I've found that married wealthy men are very open to the idea of mistress. And wealthy men will drops thousands on purses, shoes, etc. for their mistresses. Men like to make women happy, especially sexy women. But not with a blender or new pair of shoes for the kids. They like buying lingerie, accessories, jewelry...they like taking on the male role and having a sultry woman smile at them. It makes them feel virulent and powerful. Imagine your man is a middle-aged married man, he's been with the same brow-beating woman for 20 years, she wears flannel pajamas, never wants sex, acts like swallowing is akin to drinking Drano...that's not the woman he married and it's not the woman he wants to wake up and see everyday. He wants a sexy woman that makes him feel sexy again. If he wanted a complaining frigid nag, he would be with his girlfriend or wife, not you.

As a mistress, you are in control. He will do whatever he can to keep you happy. You can demand (in a cute pouty way, of course) the meetings be in a fancy hotel, with champagne and caviar room service. You can send him links to the diamond studs you want or the latest handbag that you need. (Side note- I find it best to create an anonymous email account and have him do the same, and never text or call. Think Tiger Woods- the phone will be your downfall. Tiger had a successful philandering lifestyle for years and ultimately was caught by his own phone. Stupid.) You should also always keep your computer (and associated Internet windows/passwords either locked with a password and never on auto-open.) Suspicious girlfriends and wives can be very tricky and very determined. Never, EVER, underestimate a scorned woman. Bad idea. I've had my man's girlfriend go through his email, find my name, and then find my boyfriend's name (through facebook, I suspect), and then send my boyfriend a message, trying to bust the affair. Thankfully, we were able to make her look insane and keep all three relationships intact (his, mine and ours).

Another benefit, you are not locked into a relationship. You can be a mistress and see your man once every week or month, and still have a relationship with someone else (if you want) and no one will be the wiser (if done properly, which will be addressed later). I have a boyfriend that I love very much. I realize that if he ever knew, he would be crushed, and the thought of hurting him kills me. Yet, I persist. I rely on the fact that I am good at what I do and I am very good at not being caught. My man's girlfriend, on the other hand, is pesky and has consequently caused me to dislike her (even though I've never met her). I do take a rather sinister pleasure in knowing that she's aware of my existence and, per a mutual acquaintance, views me as her "nemesis." Even more rotten? I love knowing that he comes to me for great sex, photos and videos, and meanwhile complains about her skinny body that has no shape (men love breasts and a toned, juicy ass, it's a fact) and her poor bedroom skills.

They key to being a mistress, above all else? Secrecy. CIA level secrecy. You do not tell anyone--not your best friend, not your diary--about your man's existence. The quickest way to end a profitable (by profit I mean gifts and treats, not money- if you are being paid in cash, then you are a prostitute, plain and simple) and an enjoyable mistresshood is to be busted, and busts come from leaks. You can be pretty sure your married man will be keeping the affair on the down low, so limit your exposure and do not tell anyone. Related to secrecy: never threaten to rat him out. As soon as you plant that seed of betrayal, the entire relationship will melt and you will no longer be enjoying a new Chanel or day at the spa.

So, that is the skeleton structure of mistress basics. In short: smile, don't complain, don't tell, keep yourself in shape, and be a sex goddess. We will revisit each topic as the blog progresses.

Miss R